For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
