your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
