I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
