It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
