Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
