you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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