Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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