the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
