i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
