All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
