I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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