oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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