my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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