If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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