Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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