Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
