small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
