Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
