Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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