Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
