Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
