I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize