somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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