So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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