they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
