I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
