at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
