okay pat passed out under dana's car
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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