so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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