Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
