I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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