I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
