shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
