i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
