feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
