I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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