Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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