if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
as a side note pls kill me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
