did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
