So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
