You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
