I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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