i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
