Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
