I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize