I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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