why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
