just come out here and I will go home with you...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
