the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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