bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
