Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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