I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize