Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
nutella sex= disaster
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
