The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize