If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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