I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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