i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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