I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize