Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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