Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
