Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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