I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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