It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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