Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
