I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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