i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize