Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
